Surrounded by People and Still Lonely

Sunday musings from this weeks scripture study.


This week I had some interesting conversations with a few of  my "sisters"
in Christ.  One dear friend confided in me how lonely she felt at church.
Now this was a surprise to me, because she spends hours serving each week,
surrounded by many people. She felt her efforts weren't that important and
no one would really notice if she wasn't there.  She has a dynamic and friendly
personality and from my perspective, seemed to be happy as she could be.
She certainly didn't look as though she could be lonely.  Looks can be
deceiving.

A few days later, at a small gathering, a couple of women openly shared
feelings of frustration.  They too, were feeling lonely, unneeded and
disconnected with other women.  Again, this took me by surprise.  These
are talented women who have much to offer, who are active in church and
participate in activities and programs.  Everything seemed fine with them.
Like I said, looks can be deceiving.  The remark was made that they hadn't
had a real conversation with another woman in a long while and they hadn't
been invited to anyone's home or had anyone in theirs.  They were struggling
with feelings of loneliness, even though they were rarely alone.

I've thought about this all week.  How is it that we can be surrounded by
people and still be lonely?  I know that we all have deep needs that can
only be filled by Christ.  Sometimes we look to others to fill those needs
and that never satisfies.  But beyond those relationships with the Lord, and
with our families we yearn for friendships with other women.

As disciples of Christ, we desire to be charitable with all people, especially
those in our own household of faith.  I think we want to reach out, to say
kind and encouraging words.  We want to share our love and appreciation
with one another.  We have good intentions to do all those things.  But we're
so busy!  I have tried to eradicate that word from my vocabulary, because I
dislike it so much.  I think busyness is a tool of the adversary and he uses it
to keep us from doing those things that bring us closer to the Lord and to each
other.  Oh, how Satan loves to keep good women busy. It pleases him to see
us scurrying around, stressed and unfulfilled.

No one has time to just sit and talk anymore. Who can linger over a nice meal
and have a real conversation?   How long has it been since you've received a
handwritten note or card from someone in the mail?  When you do, isn't it a
real treasure?  I think the reason we love getting a handmade gift or food
from someone's kitchen is because of the time it represents- and we all know
how valuable time is. Women need to be with other women.  We need to be
taught and nurtured, validated and loved and listened to by one another.  I
think the Lord is pleased when he sees his daughters reaching out to each
other in love.  But just like anything else that we want to accomplish, we have
to be intentional or it probably won't happen.  At different seasons in our
lives, we will have more time to reach out  than others.  A young mom with a
newborn and a preschooler won't be able to spend hours visiting with other
women.  Her priorities will be in her own home, but as children grow up and
leave home, we have more time to devote to serving others in this way.

And it's not always grand actions that are needed.  Little things mean a lot.
I'm trying to remember that.  I may not have time to invite someone over
for dinner, but I can share a loaf of bread on baking day.  I can carry a few
notecards in my planner and when I'm waiting at an appointment, instead of
mindlessly looking through a magazine, I can write a note of encouragement
to that cute young woman who gave an excellent talk in sacrament meeting
on Sunday.  I can put a few birthday cards in the mail.  I can invite friends
to ride with me to the temple and to conferences.  I can try to smile and give
hugs.  I can look around the chapel and make an effort to meet people I don't
know. I can slide in beside that young mother who is struggling to keep her
children quiet and help out.  I can pray for struggling friends.  I can look the
cashier in the eye and call her by name, letting her know that I've noticed
that she is a person, not someone who just rings up my groceries and asks
if I want paper or plastic. I can call and check on my elderly neighbor.
One little thing today, one little thing tomorrow.
I can be especially careful with the words that come out of my mouth.

" Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that
  ye know how ye ought to answer every man." 
                                    Colossians 4:6


"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
                                     Galations 6:2


"Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that 
        weep."               Romans 12:15


" A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another;
  as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall
  all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to 
  another."             John 13: 34-35


I don't want to be too busy to notice when someone is feeling lonely.  I
don't want to be too busy to reach out and help someone who is struggling.
I don't want to be too busy to hear the whisperings from the Lord, asking
me to be an instrument in his hands to help bring peace and comfort to
those in need.  I don't want to be too busy to show love.

I want to be anxiously engaged in many good ways, but I don't want to
be too busy.
*MYOF Goal #14  - Start each day with scripture study and prayer
                         # 37  - Write 50 notes of encouragement.